just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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