Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
