His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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