omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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