I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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