Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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