his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
