having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
