Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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