I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
