great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
