I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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