dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
