So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
