Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
