belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
