He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
