I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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