Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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