i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
