honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
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Boobs are out for the taking
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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