she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
