I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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