I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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