cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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