It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
