I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
