Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
