Duck Duck Cougar?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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