Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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