if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
