She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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