we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
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Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
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It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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