my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm at about main and main street
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
