Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
