dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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