Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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