Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
