the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
and she was petting her beer can
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
