I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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