As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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