If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
