just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
