it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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