just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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