i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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