do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize