Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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