trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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