I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
