why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just found puke in my bra..
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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