There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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