I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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