so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
