i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She's the barista slut.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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