You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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