what day is it and did you see me today?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
