dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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