It's Friday. Sex?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
